


Betrayal

by ConstellationRoses



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Raphael Santiago, M/M, Saphael, broken saphael, optional happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2018-11-29 19:25:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,870
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11447466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConstellationRoses/pseuds/ConstellationRoses
Summary: Just a super short one-shot take on the events of season 01 episode 13.





	1. Chapter 1

Raphael's POV:  
Raphael was hurt. He had tried so hard to make Simon feel at home in the clan and this is how he responds. By betraying not only him but the entire clan. And all for a selfish red-headed shadowhunter who was too busy chasing love from someone else that she ignored the love that Simon gave her. Raphael was never a big fan of the nephilim but this cemented that even more. He didn't mean to take it so personally but he couldn't help it. Simon had made him feel emotions that he didn't know he was capable of. He cared for the young vampire. He tried to ignore the voice in his head that taunted him with the word "love".  Raphael scoffed. This felt like one of those bad movies Simon was always going on about. It felt pathetic but Raphael was disappointed. Not just in Simon but in himself too. 

He knows that he's not good at expressing his emotions, especially these new emotions that he's never dealt with before but he had been trying so hard to get Simon to understand that he wasn't heartless, that he cared immensely for him. Maybe this was Raphael's fault. Maybe he should have tried harder to get Simon to see what was right in front of him. Maybe Raphael's just not cut out for love. Whatever it was, it hurt. 

\----  
Simon's POV:  
Simon couldn't help but shake this feeling of guilt. Had he made the wrong decision? The clan was supposed to be like a family. A dysfunctional undead family. He shook the thoughts out of his head and glanced at Clary. The bubbly red-head was currently engaged in what seemed to be a fascinating conversation with none other than the golden boy himself, Jace. Her eyes were practically sparkling as he gently held her hands and gave her a reassuring smile. 

Clary had always been Simon's number one importance. That wasn't about to change just because their entire worlds had changed... Was it? Clary was a shadowhunter. It was her destiny, her birthright. But Simon, he wasn't destined to be a downworlder. He was just dragged into it with her because she didn't want to be alone. Except now Simon was alone. Clary had Jace and Simon had nobody. Especially now that he just betrayed the entire clave. He could picture the anger in Raphael's eyes and it made Simon feel worse. Knowing that he had let down the vampire. 

Simon looked away from the couple feeling like he was intruding on something private. He thought that seeing them together would hurt like it normally did but today he felt numb towards it. The guilt of choosing to help free Camille was  overriding any emotions towards Clary. 

All he could think about was Raphael. Just when he thought that there was potential between them. He thought he was finally getting to know Raphael a little better, that maybe the vampire would start opening up to him a little more. But Simon just had to go and mess that up didn't he? He felt like an idiot. 

Had he really made the right choice? What would've happened had he refused to help Clary? She probably would've found a way to do it without him. Why did he have to get involved? He was a downworlder now. A vampire. He might not have been destined for this life but that didn't mean he should reject it. The nauseous feeling in his throat sank lower and lower into his stomach. 

Simon put his head in his hands as he realised: he'd just made a terrible and irredeemable mistake. What had he done?


	2. Forgiveness...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An optional happy ending.

Simons POV:  
I stuff my hands into my pockets and quickened my footsteps. The cold air was barely noticeable. I guess that's what happens when your cold blooded, huh? I lower my head as I start to rehearse my speech in my head. I know that this probably isn't going to work. I know that Raphael hates me, that I'm practically dead to him. Well I guess technically I am dead but you get the point. I had told Clary about the guilt I'd been feeling since siding with the shadowhunters. I think deep down she'd already realised. She still didn't like it when I told her I wanted to apologise to the clan and try and make things right with Raphael. "Simon, I don't like him. He doesn't treat you right. You told me that he hated you." She had said. I quickly bit my tongue before a snarky comment about the way she had been treating me recently snuck out. I didn't want to fight with Clary. She was my best friend. She still is. I need to accept that she doesn't like me the way she likes Jace and that she's going to choose her fellow shadowhunters before me. That's natural and I'm okay with that. That's why I need her to be okay with me doing this. It goes both ways. Once I explained that to her I could see her soften her resolve. She still wasn't in love with the idea but she was warming up to it and we were one step closer to getting our friendship back on track.  
When I get to the hotel dumort my footsteps halt as I hear someone circling me. It's not Raphael no matter how much I want it to be. Since the fight he's completely avoided seeing me and it's worked.   
"What are you doing here, traitor?". It's Lily. I can tell by the exasperation in her voice. "I'm here to apologise" I stutter out nervously. Lily scoffs. "Apologise? For what? Taking advantage of us and then stabbing us in the back?" She asks sarcastically. "I know what I did. I understand why it was wrong and I really am sorry". She glares at me but I notice underlying curiosity. "I just wanna see Raphael" I sputter. "Well he doesn't want to see you" she responds, tone clipped and less calm. "I know" I whisper. I know that he hates me. The problem is, I've only recently realised how much I truly care about Raphael. Maybe I'm finally getting over my crush on Clary. All I know is that without him I feel broken. I need to see him. Lily stares at me while I think to myself. When I look up I notice her arms are dropped as if she's dropped her defensive attitude. Her face doesn't look angry. She looks resigned.  
"He's miserable, you know?" She says staring at the ground. "What?". "I said he's miserable without you. He won't leave his room unless it's for work. He won't speak to any of us. He just looks so empty, Simon. I've never seen him like this." She says, concerned.  
Well that was unexpected. My heart wrenches with guilt at her words. I knew he was mad. I knew he felt betrayed and I know how big loyalty is to him but for him to be this effected... Was he feeling as broken as I was? Did he think of me as a friend? My entire chest was starting to hurt and I could feel tears spike at my eyes but I refused to let them fall. "Can I see him?" I whisper brokenly, my emotions betraying my voice.  
Lily looks at me pensively. She always looks like she's seeing straight into your soul. It's kind of scary but refreshing. "I'll give you ten minutes". "Wait. Are you serious?". "Ten minutes and I'll kick you out myself. Oh and if I hear him trying to murder you, I'm letting him" she adds, tone snarky. "Thank you so much, Lily. You don't understand how much this means to me." "Yeah, yeah. Now hurry up. Time has started".  
I rush through the dumort and head straight for Raphael's room. I stop at the door. I was never allowed in here while staying at the dumort. It was one of Raphael's many strict rules. "Don't even think about going into my room" he'd said while glaring at me with his frustrated eyes after I'd asked what his room looked like. I slowly bring my shaky hand up to the door and knock. No answer. Swallowing the feeling of absolute terror I grab for the handle and twist. I push the door open slightly and peek inside. I can't see him so I open the door fully and let my self in. Within seconds I'm pressed against the now closed door with a very angry looking Raphael glaring at me. Being this close to him I get a better look at his face and realise he doesn't just look angry. He looks sad and scared. Lily wasn't joking when she said he'd been miserable.   
"What the hell are you doing here, fledgling?" He snarls. "I came to apologise" I stutter out. It's hard to focus when Raphael has his hand around my throat threatening to kill me at any second. "Apologise?" "Yes. I know it's too little too late but I needed you to know. I regret everything that happened. I picked Clary over you guys because of some stupid old crush and that wasn't right. It was horrible. I never thought I'd be capable of hurting people like that. I completely shattered whatever trust there was between us and I am so sorry." It wasn't exactly what I wanted to say but I managed to stutter my feelings out pretty well. I look into his eyes and see something flash across them. "Shut up, Simon" he said but it lacked malice. "You betrayed the clan. You ruined our number one policy of loyalty. You chose others over your own and did something that could've genuinely hurt and injured our members" "I know, I know and I'm so sorry. Every time I close my eyes I see your dissapointed face and I just-" "and while I should kill you for even daring to stand here in front of me. I can't." "Wait, so you're not going to kill me?" I squeaked out. "No, idiota. I'm angry and disappointed but more than that I'm hurt. I know that you think I hate you but I don't. I never have. I'm not good at expressing affection."   
Raphael's hand slowly loosens its grip around my throat and cradles my neck. "I don't know how else to get the message across and I thought it was too late but I care about you Simon." My eyes widen as I exhale a noise resembling disbelief. "I know what I did doesn't show it but I care about you too, Raphael. A lot." I say trying to convey as much emotion as I can.   
A knock on the door breaks us apart. "It's been ten minutes fledgling. You better have reconciled because I really don't want to be cleaning your guts up off of the floor." Lily's voice hollers from outside the door. I let out a laugh and Raphael rolls his eyes. "Stay" he says, glancing up at me and back to the floor, when my laughter dies down. I look over at him and reach out to grab his hand. "Forever".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to write this when I first wrote betrayal but never got around to it. Hopefully someone likes it?

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at writing fanfic so I apologise for how bad it is.


End file.
